, , , , , , , , ,

Life Puzzle

Life is like doing a puzzle upside down. You have to feel your way through it. Start with the frame and fill in from there – always building out from that core. Each piece belongs, you just have to figure out how it fits in, which way to turn it. It’s not until you’ve fit all the pieces in that you can turn it over and see the whole picture. There will be flashes of the big picture as you stumble through the process of piecing it together. Perhaps even managing to combine a bunch of pieces free of the frame, giving you a glimpse of the finish line, but only a glimpse. It’s not until all the pieces are connected, in just the right way, will you truly be able to see clearly.

Children are beautiful. My girls drive me crazy. They try my patience every minute of every day. I often feel irritated with them over things they haven’t learned yet. I always feel awful about it later but it does happen. I recognize though that in their lack of knowledge, that youthful innocence lies their true beauty.

They look at the world as reality, seeing it as it truly is. No preconceived notions drilled in, ushering in a lifetime of rules. I think if we look closer at how children view the world, perhaps we could move forward in a positive way. When I ask Prudence if she would like to help me clean the living room, her response is usually no. That doesn’t make her a brat or rude. She answered no because she really would not enjoy cleaning the living room. She doesn’t yet recognize the societal standard of downplaying an order by presenting it as a request. I often snap at her for this and similar behaviors all revolving around “poor behavior” as deemed by society. I believe children see things in black and white. What is, just is. They may not be able to express or perhaps even comprehend the depth of their understanding, but it is simple. Simple truths.

As of late, I have been searching for my own truths. I don’t have a pointed direction to my inquiries, I just want to absorb as much information as I can. So I ask questions. About myself, my relationship, my children, my life, the world. Everything. I question because I don’t know, but I’m finding that to be increasingly difficult. I want to ask but I’m scared to put it out there.  I want to word my thoughts so I can ask my questions as clearly as possible, without being offensive in the process. But in trying to keep with societal niceties, I find it downright burdensome.

I know what I believe. I want to know what you believe. I also know I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything. In return, I’m not looking to be convinced either. I want to find my own truths, whatever they be. And what is right for me, probably won’t be right for you. I’m okay with that because I feel like I am a better person for seeing a different piece of the puzzle.

If I believe I’m better for knowing your opinions, should it matter how you state your beliefs, as long as your intention is to inform me? I may never agree but I will listen and process what you’re thinking. Your information, thoughts, and beliefs help me more thoroughly understand my own information, thoughts, and beliefs. It ties into the need to know dark so I may know light. Is it possible to have a place where agendas and offensiveness can be put aside? A true meeting of minds to open and discuss information, thoughts, and beliefs?

Not everyone is blessed with eloquent speech. That’s okay because you shouldn’t need to be. I care about what you think. I want to know. I’m only going to be offended if I choose to be, which I won’t.  Since my purpose is to learn, aggression and/or persuasiveness is unnecessary. I’m already sold.

We come into this world a clean slate. Free of the imprint of society, those cultural (seemingly now global) standards of conduct that burden thoughts and hamper our ability to come together. We were all born. We all need sustenance. We all need love. EVERYONE is the same in that sense. If we are all the same at our core, why should societal standards disrupt our connection?

Talk to me. Tell me your thoughts. But please remember, I believe that it is imperative to be a good person and kind to others. Feeling angry, hurt, or upset about a person’s beliefs is understandable, perhaps even justifiable – so use that. Use that strong emotion to better understand yourself. You were offended because something that was said clashed with your own belief. That, to me, seems to indicate a strongly held belief.  Turning those feelings into actions is when problems arise, and even more so on the internet, an entire world of inactive action.

Text is open to interpretation. The internet allows me to connect with virtually anyone I would like, but the catch is in our limited capacity to connect with each other. You can’t see me. You don’t know my motivation, can’t see my eyes, hear my words, listen to the gusto with which I speak. Right now, I feel like I am being thoughtful or insightful. Others might interpret it as condescending or preachy. Because you can’t see me, the tone of my message is completely left to your imagination. It’s up to each person to decide.

So I beg, please make your decision to read my words as I intend them. I cast no judgement, mean no offense, and certainly won’t lash out. I ask the same in return. We get what we give. I want to ask questions and be questioned.

Stretch my mind. Make me think. I hope I can do the same in return.