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The day was a total success. From the moment I left the house to pick up the formula I had on my “game face” and I was ready to be Impressive Mom: the super crazy lady who pretends to be a bomb-diggity mother capable of turning pint-sized people into capable “grown-people” who are able to handle the responsibility of contributing to the growth and nurturing of society and its inhabitants in a way that is meaningful to more than just their own self. There were some majorly happy-making moments and there were some low points as well.

The Events and Highlights:

  1. Easter Egg Hunt – Made it on time despite leaving my house ten minutes later than I planned. Enjoyed a youthful service that described a wonderful message about using the power of Jesus’ love to fuel personal progress into the future and even found that my older girls would be interested in attending this particular church. Temporarily got separated from Prudence as the crowd left the interior of the church to head outside to the baseball field area where the eggs were set up.
  2. Lunch at Mexican Restaurant – Was able to sit down for a nice meal with Grandma, an adult I can openly converse with about real emotional topics and actually feel heard and understood and even appreciated. Was rudely and aggressively approached by an older female “bulldog” of a patron who felt it was her place to tell me that she wanted to beat my toddler, that beating her children worked, that I should beat her right then, and that I deserved to have my children taken from me for not beating my child in the middle of a restaurant. Yeah that happened. Somehow I stayed cool and am actually interested in detailing that event more at a later time.
  3. Mexican Meal with Daddy –  Cuddled up and squeezed together to see the restaurant menu on the tiny phone screen so we could decide together what to eat. Sat on the couch eating and watching shows while the girls gave us alone time.
  4. Family Movie – Patience was deadly interested in watching any Transformers movie. We used our Amazon Prime to watch the Marky Mark version of Transformers. Sat on the couch with a sick Prudence on my right, kind of on my lap, somewhat in my arms, with Patience on my left leaning comfortably in for a wonderful snuggle. Daddy stretched out on the floor with and fell asleep. Providence toddled around as toddlers do.

Favorite Moments:

  1. The look on Patience and Prudence’s faces when they recognized classmates performing on stage during the short service that was held before the Easter Egg Hunt. I tell myself I enjoyed this moment because they saw people putting themselves on a big stage and parading the fact that they not only follow Jesus but are willing to be more than just a face in the crowd which loosely teaches my children to be advocates of Jesus Christ and the grand love he professes instead of just another nameless follower of “that guy on the cross who died for my sins”.
  2. The excitement Prudence expressed when I asked if she would enjoy being up on stage. This was the first time I can clearly recall receiving actual unfaked enthusiasm from my daughter who always tries to say what people want to hear.
  3. The feeling when Prudence saw my face after getting lost in the crowd heading out to hunt eggs. I noted her fear first and then saw it melt away when she registered she was not lost. A parent losing their child is just as scary as a child losing their parent – she and I bonded over the recognition of how much it hurts to lose each other.
  4. The exclamations of joy and surprise as Providence “hunted” out her Easter Eggs and the goodies they held inside.
  5. Seeing Patience with a bookbag full of Easter Eggs after having her tell me that she would not be participating in the event because “people always steal her eggs”.
  6. The closeness of Prudence after her scare of getting separated from her family. It was so pleasant to have one of my daughters share affection with me in the over-the-top way that I try to dole out regularly.
  7. Having Grandma truly hear me when I expressed how deeply my childhood damaged me but that of the children I was the most fortunate and therefore imagination should be directed at how isolated, neglected, and rejected my siblings must feel about not receiving what they truly believed to be “the good love” because I was the only “Little Miss Perfect” in the house.
  8. Having Grandma jump to my defense in the restaurant as a stranger attempted to scold and demean my parenting skills/choices. I used to believe I hated my dad’s wife. It turns out I love her like a best friend/sister/in-law because she is just like me only in an older body. It’s really cool having what feels like a mirrored projection of my future self involved my life. I feel I could really use this to heal my heart and hopefully help my Dad have the loving relationships he is missing out on.
  9. Patrick stating, “I don’t know if I am turning into a woman in my old age but I really miss spending time with you. We used to get close and touch and do everything together. I miss you.” Coming from the man that I spend 24 hours a day with every day of the week, this means a lot. It was his first time admitting something I have been feeling for a long time: Separation despite our insanely close proximity.
  10. Being together in the same room for an extended period of time with everyone wanting to enjoy the time together.

Lesson Learned:

  1. A sour/dreadful/negative morning start can be the perfect recipe for creating the motivation and focus necessary to realize and appreciate the wonderful experiences a busy day can offer.
  2. The desire to rise above down days emboldens me to be stronger than the strength I “thought” I knew I had.
  3. My love for those I call family moves me in miraculous ways.
  4. I really enjoy when people actually listen to me and receive the message I intended to send.
  5. I’m sincerely okay with people misunderstanding and hating on me as long as they eventually use that negativity to solve their own problems without my help.

 

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