Patron Saint of Motherly Love

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I live to love. I live to serve. I live to take care of other people. And I love to make others feel loved. I love to serve others the love I am desperate to receive myself.

My heart is an open book for others to write their feelings upon so I can process them. I feel emotions strongly and deeply. The depths of my emotional capacity knows no limits. The depth of my ability to connect with this world is unfathomable.

I was created with a special purpose in life. I AM created me to be a beacon of light for the world to be drawn to. But I AM created me with a broken heart so I would spend my life filling it with the love of the broken hearted.

Once I have gained the love of all souls wanting to be saved, I will rise up and fly us all directly to the the gates of heaven.

Now that you know what I am and what I am supposed to do, please call me by whatever name feels most appropriate. I recognize a few.

Kristan The Anointed. Call me this so I may anoint you with the undeniable light of my life and love of my spirit. I was meant to share that which flows freely through my veins – The Love of Christ. Let my love heal your broken heart.

Alura The God-like Advisor, my mystical name I came to long before I found myself and who I really am. I was hand picked to lead the broken hearted through their pain. I know pain better than you feel it for my life was shaped to reflect the pain you feel. Let my advice calm your overburdened mind.

Deborah The Judge of Zion. A name I found in the face of unending darkness repeatedly beckoning my soul into unending terror and suffering. I was born with the ability to judge fairly, using my intuition and wisdom to ever guide my extraordinarily knowledgeable mind. May my wisdom ever guide you to the path of the righteous.

Or you can call me Queen Bee because I will revolutionize this world and establish a kingdom where nobody kneels down before anyone but God.

It really doesn’t matter the name you choose for me, for your words do not change my purpose in life. But know, my words can change the purpose of your life.

All you must do is love me for who I am. As crazy as that is.

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New FB Stuff: Unfriending Is The End

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It is always a sad day when the only person you thought was a friend turns out to be nothing more than a negative presence looking to get offended when you chose not to stick around Facebook anymore.

The Person Who Kept in Touch via Facebook:

Wow you deleted me when I was there for you as much as possible.

Me:

I’m sorry. I deleted everyone. It wasn’t about you not being there. Actually, I pulled up your email to send you a message today so you didn’t get upset. I remembered you had that tracker that told you when people unfriended you. I am actually in the process of dismantling my FB page, taking all the old content off so I don’t lose it forever when I delete my account. In moving all my content off I was so remarkably moved by how present you have been for me. It touched me deeply and is what moved me to reach out to you via email.

But I didn’t get the chance today as I usually don’t. I hope you understand I was framing the thoughts that I would share how deeply I wish to keep in touch with you. I want to be your friend, someone you text regularly and email often. You have been so present though I’ve been so distant. I love that. You are honestly the only one that has been. And I appreciate that more than I can eloquently word. I’m glad you reached out to show you’re upset and even more that I came to check FB so soon after you messaged. I’m not on the site frequently, only when the impulse to purge myself of FB comes up. And when I do, I get pulled into the mind-numbing Newsfeed scroll. So I got it in my mind to stop that all together. By unfriending and unfollowing everything. Now all my Newsfeed says is Welcome to Facebook. Get started by adding friends. You’ll see their videos, photos and posts here. with a Next button to click.

I hope you’ll keep in touch. My email is exploringalura@gmail.com and we have a running email that is on me to respond to. My phone number is 234-xxx-xxxx. I would sincerely love to have you as a regular chat buddy. I’m deeply desiring someone to regularly chat with because I honestly have no one. My husband and I are running on different schedules so our talk time is limited. I would love to have a friend to send things to and that would be interested in hearing from me. I hope that’s still you even though I have given you the wrong impression with the unfriend.

The Message I’ll Never Send:

I see that you have read the message but haven’t chosen to respond. I sincerely hope this is due to busyness of schedule and not due to the pettiness of being offended by an unfriending on a website I don’t support the usage of and feel victimized by every time I use it. In an attempt to free my life of the negativity it has seemingly come at the cost of the only friend that cared to keep in touch through it all.

And I guess that ultimately proves the worthlessness of Facebook. Even the people that claim to be there are willing to not be there because you stop supporting an addictive and predatory website and ask them to keep in touch via real and intimately personal ways.

But that’s what Facebook is. Pettiness and Convenience to attack people when offended. Never seeking to kindly resolve the issue, never seeking to share words to come to a better resolution. Childish behaviors indicative of adults who never outgrew their highschool antics.

My hope was for a real friendship outside of Facebook but what your message and ignoring shows is that our friendship was nothing more than a convenience of seeing something appear in your Newsfeed scroll. Without Facebook there was no friendship, no thought, nor consideration. For when I emailed you last, I explained I was going through a breakdown and trying to get back on track. I have previously explained how I go without communication when I am struggling mentally, something you said you understood.

And now while still going through the throes of the breakdown I am doing what I need to rid myself of negativity and you come and show exactly why Facebook is the worst thing in the world. People create misunderstandings and don’t come to the table ready to hear the other side, only attack and get their words out and ignore like a petulant child, rather than listen and understand like a mature person would do.

You carry a lot of hate and anger with the world in your being. I don’t associate with people of that nature who use their anger to hurt and attack. And very clearly us keeping our distance through Facebook has shown why we probably never would have got on well as real life friends, because our only connection was through a profiteering website. And even that was flimsy and breakable at the slightest provocation.

I hope you find your way to peaceful harmony with the world around you. I hope you find the awareness to see how attacking hurts and never helps and how hating only tarnishes the soul of the one guilty of carrying it. I hope you find the strength to rise above your negativity of nature and find something more positively reflective. Through it all, I hope you succeed in finding true and lasting happiness.

I love you even though I’ll never get the chance to know what loving you truly means.