, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I love when people have positive connections. And in find it magical I am hooked up with a community of people.

I trust everyone from the gate until they show me I need to be leery of their intentions. Trust first. Love always.

I’ve always been crossed with people receptive to it. Law of attraction at play I like to think. I believe in the reality of true connection from the first moment and I’m pulled to people needing that.

It’s happening now. I’m finding the healthy of my mind attracts the best of people just needing a glimpse of true love.

I feel distance from my father as well. But I have learned with time that he is just as much a flawed individual as I am. And that even parenthood doesn’t make you the perfect person. My husband lost both of his parents and seeing the pain he is still in a decade later, I know that I would rather cherish the uncomfortable time left with my father than spend time worrying about how he doesn’t love me as I need.

I find I believe that not everyone is going to feel good to love. Those people we have a choice to continue to have in our life. Deciding if they are toxic to you or not. Fathers are hard because so often their love is harsh and limiting, never having given into a gentle form of caring and sharing.

I am not a fan of parents that make their kids think they are owed something for bringing the life into the world. That is just low.

I don’t get to spend time with my father for the problem between us is a significant other that despises me. My father doesn’t make her respect me and our time together is always toxic. So I can’t see my father unless she’s around and so I choose not to see my father.

Tough choice to make but at the end of the day, the abuse I feel at her hands is far worse than I deserve. So I spend my time with people that fill my moments with light and love and caring and consideration. And even without my father, my life feels better for that choice.

I would love to get into things with you. I’ve been hoping for that chance since we became friends. I should be around most of the time, checking in regularly.

I understand what you are feeling. Sometimes I go through periods where socially the communication is too much for me to handle. I recommend in these times letting your people know you are going through something and when the time is right you’ll get back to them. Your real friends will appreciate the truth and the drama makers will fall away. I wouldn’t worry that you aren’t a good friend. But perhaps you have spread yourself too thin to keep up constant communication with a group of people.

I was reading over this again and I wanted to inquire how you are doing? Sometimes depression can come over us and cause us to distance from those we love. It ebbs and flows but sometimes we just don’t feel like being social. I think that’s okay. Because we are a pool of energy that is constantly being bombarded by other’s energy fields. It makes sense to my mind that you might need a break from keeping up with taking care of relationships and friendships.

In addition to that I believe cosmically the Earth is in a state of change. Things of old may pass on while new things cone to light. Perhaps The Universe is calling for you to slow the online communication and focus on feeling good by yourself. So many people don’t know how to enjoy life if not firmly connected to an electronic. If that applies perhaps your distance is related to a burn out of too much stimulation. Give yourself some time away and see if you feel better.

Then there is the last thing that popped into my head while I stepped away in the middle of typing this message. Don’t feel pressured to respond in any sort of time frame. That can start to feel like a lot. Take your time and respond when you can. It’ll be a better message that you send when you’re ready to send it.

It can be hard when seeing the problem in others that are bad choices leading to sadness or difficulties. Especially when they don’t want to hear it. It probably best to give a little space to the moment because while he’s going through a rough time he’s not really wanting advice. Just someone to vent to. Which isn’t filling your friendship needs. I see it like a vacuum that keeps sucking up all the crap life offers. After a while you just turn it off because you don’t want to hear it anymore. Perhaps this is the case here?

No you have a responsibility to yourself as well to be well. Being ignored is not a healthy thing for the mind.

That adds an interesting twist. Roommates fare better when they are able to get along. Will you be able to handle living intimately with someone that you already are having doubts about?

Close proximity is intimacy, in my mind at least.

You have to be accepting to be around someone all the time. Otherwise little things build up and become blowouts.

That’s what I was searching for. Will these details be better than the details with your dad? The ones you know about your life that I don’t. That come into play to make this big decision. Moving out is a big deal and living with someone is a hurdle to get used to. As much as we type I can only know what you tell me but you know the ins and out.

Want to work through the dad situation? I’m a parent that might be able to offer insight.

As gently as I can say this I want you to know how young you are despite how old you feel. I believe in parents protecting their children long after 18 because I don’t think we hit adulthood until 30 or later. I barely feel I’ve adulted and I have four kids and a husband of 19 years. I’m on the other end feeling 17 at shy of 36.

Independence in this country comes at a high cost. Starting earlier doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve got it together. Many people pay their bills and suck at being a human being towards other people.

Living costs are expensive. I know it can be done on the low end but most people do expect more than the minimum when living.

I giggle at this. I get it. But my husband had a dad that spent his time on drinking binges. A father that’s still providing a roof and wants to give advice? I’d say let that swell man have his piece thinking he’s helping you with his words. Even if you don’t need it. It’s coming from a place of love.

When the words come forcibly that’s hard.

Trust me. If he’s still around caring for you its love. Even if it doesn’t feel that way.