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When Kali asked if I had read her AntiChrist principles I got extremely excited.

For me, the fourth aspect is the combination of the other three. So the body, soul, and heart are the three parts of self that cannot be denied. But the Cry of the Spirit is the combination of those three parts together, crying out for how you should choose to be in a moment. If how you are choosing to be in the moment isn’t making you feel good, then perhaps you are feeling less than whole.

Because you are the sum of your parts and that summation has a voice of its own.

I haven’t read your Antichrist principles. If you link them, I will read them.

Kali let me know that she was usually okay with how she is the way she is, but she struggles when she sees a negative perception of her in the eyes of others.

Oh I can relate to this so much! I feel outside of the box of normality so often with the words flowing through my vessel. But when I start to feel weird it’s because I am pushing people’s boundaries society has coldly helped them establish. So I push through with my all-consuming love for others and try to get close to every person I meet, whether I will be around them for a passing moment or something longer. I give myself fully because I hope to inspire others to do the same.

Which makes me feel better than I do about feeling weird.

Kali responded, “You’re better and stronger than I. I just turn acerbic and caustic but all over my self.

I felt the pull of negativity and sought to diffuse it with a little humor:

Hey there Negative Nancy. Nice to meet you. Positive Prissy Krissy here to give you a different perspective.

Namely: No one is better or stronger than you are. The only difference between us is that you are willing to negatively attack yourself. I have given myself the freedom from abuse that self-loathing creates.

And I feel better in my every moment for that choice. I hope we can get you to stop hating on yourself and start loving how blessed it is to be you.

Kali expressed that she had fallen into the trap of being someone worth being loved. And she felt as though she had been tricked and that she wasn’t going to allow herself to be fooled again. It hurt her to open up and have her gentle heart broken, time and again.

Her exact words to sum it up, “Just Sailor Mercury and Sailor Mars trying to figure it out while Sailor Venus is the villain for making anyone feel things in the first place.

I felt saddened by the reality that once upon a time, Kali felt loving feelings for herself and now thinks it a trick to feel good about being who she is. I too have a big heart and understand how difficult it is getting hurt.

So let me free you from the trap – you are worth loving. There is no trick.

When you love like I have found the way to love, it never hurts. Because you are dealing in purity and presence and perfect love which heals, helping not hurting.

No one is the villain. Feeling things makes things better. The only thing that could be said is when one uses their love as a form of control over another. That is when one could be leaning towards the villain side of the spectrum. But even then, a villain who uses emotions is so much stronger than a fraud who runs from the depth of their emotions.

Kali expressed that she desired believing there was hope for someone like herself but she felt too much doubt to really believe. She then turned and started attacking herself.

There is hope for you. If you can’t see it and believe it, I will hold down that fort for you and keep pushing you towards the positive and away from the negativity inherent to the EGO trap so many fall for.

It starts with making the choice to not allow your thoughts to hurt. Not you. Not others. Not anything.

No hurt in your thoughts means you will feel better immediately for your every perception of reality will be better than you ever thought was possible before.”

The realization dawned on me that Kali wasn’t letting herself be tricked. She was making the choice to not be any sort of good feeling because she had so much negativity directed at herself.

I just want to point out your wording “I won’t be tricked again.”

You won’t let yourself make another mistake. I think this is your EGO preventing your Soul from finding Wholeness. Keeping you from the very thing that would complete you.

Attempting to control that which shouldn’t have barriers or regulation.

Darn EGOs always getting in the way.

Kali admitted that she would rather blame herself than another person. And then again, she turned the wordy tongue lashing in her direction, tearing herself down and showing how little she thinks of herself.

I think it is right to blame the self versus blaming others. But you need to blame yourself for the right things, apportioning the appropriate amount of blame, and feeling the right amount of shame in your actions.

But you aren’t busy doing that. You are out there making yourself feel horrible all the time. Which isn’t right because nobody has done anything to deserve feeling miserable all the time. Everyone deserves a reprieve from the consequences of their choices.

I think the key to turning your thoughts around is fixing this one “I’d be be worth loving and capable of loving myself if I wasn’t me.” You are you and you aren’t ever going to be anyone else. So rather than fight the inevitable, fall into the depths of how awesome you are and start loving yourself as deeply as you wish others would.

When you love yourself deeply, others will reflect that love you are saving yourself with. When you save yourself, you begin to be able to help others with your Heart without getting hurt in the process.

The Kali dropped her AntiChrist principles link to me: Follow it here – I am the antichrist, and I believe in me.

I excitedly jumped over to the post and began working my way through it. In the middle of creating my response to the post, I came across a particularly striking thought and wanted to share it with her immediately.

Just made it to Number 8. “Know yourself. Trust yourself. You are you. A complex creature, you are more than the sum of all of your parts”

Umm kind of brought to mind the question – if you knew this when you wrote the words, why aren’t you busy believing it? More than believing it, why aren’t you living it?

What’s the disconnect between the post about who you are and the reality of how you choose to be?”

Kali’s heart came pouring out in one big long blurb of uninterrupted self expression and mental release: “I wrote these last year. And last year I was flying mighty high and happy. And then I tripped on my ego’s massive penis and my whole fucking world came crumbling down like Pompeii, to the beat of the war drums. I dunno. I fucked myself over because I’m like that. And all year I’ve been fighting it and trying to hold on to hope.

And nothing of me amounts to good. I am a resource to be mined, not a beneficiary of my own bullshit. If I was ever worth it or anything, maybe they’d see that this shit online and my shit in my head and heart and soul …. uuugghh…. that maybe I wasn’t wrong.

Maybe I was worth it after all. But I don’t know when or if that will ever be realized and activated again, because… i fucked my first chance. Why should i get any chance? I’d just manipulate it like I do everything, supposedly. I’d just lie to myself again, probably. Like I always do because people never change… then I’d like to maybe just pretend.

I’d settle for pretending I deserve to feel good and proud of myself, I can pretend to be the saviour the world thinks they need. But I have to let everyone know it’s a game, because… I’ve been told stuff in comments and emails… I’m too fucking proud. I think everything is about myself. or make everything that way. when really, I thought we were playing. People would post, and I’d respond in the voice of who I imagined they were speaking about/to. You know… they write in first person, I would respond as their audience/character.

Now my facades and whatever… people think I think or really believe myself to be these… caricatures. Like I don’t know the difference between myself and their projected other. I just wanted to be part of something, to join in. but that was a mistake. I’m forever the wallflower, and I better not overstep or dream of crossing any vines. I’m a poster girl, 2 dimensional, 1 dimension. Instead of climbing my ego ladder, I need to accept I’m the bad guy. Even if I’m not really the bad guy, the “immovable object” and the “unstoppable force” Ferdinand the bull. I dunno. feelings.

(1578 @ 1:25)