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For as much as I hate my husband’s supposed laziness when I am down and depressed and despairing the tragedy that is my life, it is also when I appreciate him the most for his ability to give me the moral pep-talk I need to keep fighting to be myself and the endless fountain of funny shenanigans he’s able to come up with to put a smile on my raging and bitchy face.

After spewing so much anger, hatred, and downright disgusting negativity I feel compelled to share just how awesome the man fighting alongside me is. And to give you a taste of the comedic levels of bullshit we are up against as we try to do something as simple as rest our head at night.

While I was out of my mind and refusing to participate as a mature adult, opting for petulant anger and childish “giving up”, my husband dutifully tended to the children (who are still home because we can’t treat them for the lice they have due to lack of running water and even without lice we do not have gas in the car to drive them the six miles it takes to get to school) and allowed me to sleep the morning away while my body relaxed and my mind shut the fuck up.

After I woke up on a better side of the lump in our bed he sat down and talked with me about all of the awful things I said and helped me realize (again) that I don’t want to give up, that I don’t want to give in to the pressure of money, and I certainly don’t want to fail at loving my children the way only I know how to love them.

A little while later while I was sitting at the computer he came and put his arms around me and sang this wonderful lullaby:

“Hush little mommy don’t say a word

Life won’t always be a big steaming turd

Things will get better just wait and see

Soon life will be equivalent to pee”

To which he wrapped up with:

“Life will still be in the toilet, but at least we’re changing bodily functions.”

Smile managed. Life isn’t so bad when you have a clown to keep things light and fluffy.

On a side note to “Angry Pumpkin”: My cellphone was shut off today and so I will be unable to continue our wonderful conversation we started yesterday. Please don’t think I am already ignoring you after giving you my phone number.

Water is shut off. Phone is gone. Soon to be electric and internet. God help me.

At least I’ve got the lump.

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