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Life on the Lump

The Beginning

Today is day one.

I will share every detail of my life. The more you want to know, the more you should share with me. Forms of “sharing” I accept: food, clothing, home essentials, furniture, kind words, peaceful thoughts, and as a last resort – money which I desperately need to turn my water back on ($146 plus a reconnect fee), keep my electric from getting shut off ($120), keep me connected to the internet ($66.75), keep me connected with a cellphone ($63.25). I have other bills that I would like to pay but those are things like gas (which isn’t at shutoff notice yet), Netflix (not needed if I don’t have phone or internet), Car Insurance (can’t pay for real things why would I pay for “just in case” things), Car Registration (can’t buy food or gas to get food – not paying government for a stupid way to track my vehicle), Husband’s Driver’s Licence (ditto as before – I drive everywhere now). I could keep going but no one cares about the less important stuff…

For day one, I will give you a sumtotal of the epic levels of bullshit I have to deal with.

  1. NO MONEY OR EMPLOYMENT – $1.87 in husband’s WalMart Prepaid Debit Card Account***. I am willing to send a photo to prove that my bank account is indeed that empty. After my husband was let go from his position back in the middle of September, I have been letting him rest his overworked and undernutritioned body while waiting on the last of his paychecks. Unfortunately the corporation who wrongfully terminated my husband also chose to short him on his last pay, leaving us scrambling for the bare essentials like food and gas for transportation. Despite being fired on September 16, by the end of October we are still waiting on the unemployment determination. While waiting on the always elusive “government benefits”, over the course of October I have worked hard online, dedicating over 50 hours (while still being a full time and nursing parent) learning to transcribe videos and work on MechanicalTurk to make money. With 50 hours invested, I am appalled to say I only earned $40.16 plus another $1.36 I am waiting to get paid for my efforts. Apparently working from home while working around the clock as a parent means you don’t deserve a “workable” hourly rate when you have to piece-meal your “work” together. I have another photo I can share showing how many jobs I worked to only make $40. Bet you can’t guess the number…
  2. NO FOOD OR UTILITIES- Having no money means you have to be creative if you want to eat. In my area there are tons of places called “food pantries” where you can go (at a very specific time of day and time of month variable based on the place you are going) to get “free food”. This free food is often canned food that is almost expired, fresh food that is almost rotten, and a bunch of plain inedible swill that nobody will eat unless it is between that and starving. Well my family is between that and starving and so eat that shit, we did. Problem is that you need to be able to drive to the food pantries multiple times a week to get enough food to keep family’s belly full. With no money for gas, my ability to get food is now gone. I used up all of my WIC before the 15th of the month and now have no way to get to the only places that give away free food while we wait for the goddamn prepaid debit card the government uses to load our foodstamps onto. God bless the damn government who will quite literally let you starve in the name of being able to track your every god damn shopping expenditure. And while they are willing to let you starve, they are also willing to let you go without running water, gas and electricity to prepare your food and heat your home, or a phone to be able to contact the government agencies or other entities “helping” you in your time of need. So today I started by waking up at 5am so I could wash all of our laundry and start filling buckets of water since our water was being shut off for failure to pay. I left to take my daughters to school at 8:00am and by the time I returned at 9:05 the government worker had already come to turn off the water. How quickly they come when you cannot pay your bill but how long they take to hand over money you desperately need and spent years and years of paying taxes to provide should “shit hit the fan”. I hate the fucking government.
  3. NO FAMILY/FRIENDS – I’ll keep this one short. I am bipolar. People don’t like my “bipolar” traits and therefore don’t stick around my life or show up when things are bad. This is my fault for being born “broken” and unable to cope with the “normal” people’s world. Shame on me…
  4. NO COMFORT – No money, no job, no friends, no family. This means I don’t have things that make life run smoothly, things like a bed, cooking utensils, or the ability to repair broken home issues. To shortly explain and provide an idea of the lack of stuff I’m working with, I will tell you about Long Man Lumpy aka Lumpy Longfellow. I don’t have a bed and so purchased a queen size air mattress for my husband and I to sleep on. Very quickly my children helped the mattress start leaking air. By the third trimester of my pregnancy I was having to fill the mattress with air every couple hours when I got up to go to the bathroom.  A couple of weeks before I delivered one of the seams popped and created a huge lump in the middle of our bed, giving a weeble/wobble balancing act to anyone wishing to sleep on it. Shortly after Patrick-Henry was born another seam popped on the bed, rendering it a one sleeper. Since I am exhausted 24/7 I’m usually the ONE that is sleeping on the lump. Patrick (Daddy) came up the the moniker Long Man Lumpy which I somehow misunderstood to be Lumpy Longfellow and so now my best friend is basically a deflating lump of air that I have to keep filling up if I want to be comfortable, but which always seems to keep extra air under me while the rest of the teetor/totter air mattress deflates, who has a name that I can never remember but always remember to refer to as Lumpy. Yep, my biggest source of comfort is a piece of air that I have to work to make me happy. Thankfully the work is easy but takes electricity to fill the mattress. Looks like I can’t even enjoy the air I need to sleep on unless I have money. I hate money….
  5. NO LIFE – I drive a five seater car with six people in my family, two of which are in very sizable “car seats”. This should say enough. But in case it doesn’t and because I really hate how poor I am and how little “special” entertainment I can provide to my children, I will again point out that with no money I am unable to take my children anywhere because every car ride is a question of whether or not I will have enough gas to get my children to school or make it to the grocery store. Entertainment is never more important than school since missing school can send Mommy and Daddy to jail and definitely not more important than food since you will lose your children if you don’t put food on the table and go to jail for something ridiculous like child abuse via starvation and/or malnutrition. So my children and I sit at home, all the time and usually indoors since we have a group of “hoodlum” child thugs who actively terrorize and abuse my children every time they step outside the front door, whose parents will not enforce any type of restriction to keep them off our property nor punish them when confronted with their child’s violent behavior. Soon to lose the internet because we have no money. And electric for the same reason.

Being poor means you don’t deserve running water, heat or electric, food, furniture or housing, clothes, or even a bed to sleep in.

***Manic MONEY rant***: WalMart Prepaid Debit Card – which is NOT considered a real checking account and therefore not eligible to have unemployment compensation benefits loaded onto so the government can send us THEIR prepaid debit card to have money loaded onto. Go figure we can’t have a prepaid debit card of our own, but it is perfectly fine for them to have one to force us to use. Hypocrisy every step of the way.

I can provide more photos showing whatever you want proof of. I don’t need to hide anything. My life is so shitty, it is almost unbelievable how much I have to go through. I’m willing to fork over the proof of my circumstances … for a price.

Yep, I’m jumping on that bandwagon. If you want to see what my life is like, send me a donation that I will actually SHOW you how I am using it. I am laying out my life so everyone can see it. If you see an area you’d like to improve, send me some cash and I’ll send you the proof I fixed my life according to “YOUR DEMANDS”. If I’m going to take money from people for something as stupid as being unable to support myself without help from others, I’ll be damned if I don’t give TOTAL CONTROL over to the people contributing funds to my turnaround.

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