The life of being bipolar is interesting. For me, at least. There are so many different aspect to the condition that freely offer so many valuable benefits. Sure, there are some major fucking drawbacks if the condition isn’t managed and understood properly but oh the benefits when you get in tune with bipolarity.
Simply sustainable euphoria … when you can get everyone in your life on board with bipolarity – a task that is a huge pain in the ass for everyone involved while working out the kinks. Truth hurts. But the reality is if you can work out the kinks, bipolarity allows your mind to roam freely while your body goes through the motions of daily requirements without the rigidly structured routines and rules this shitty overbearing, undereducated, and overopinionated society puts on life.
Life flows through the ups and downs without ever feeling pulled too far in any one direction.
“Focus your energies to fulfilling your dreams while the tide is high. Rest, ruminate, and redirect your energies while the tide is down and low. Use the middle ground to stand firm in the storm of chaos versus structure. Your middle ground is the part of you that never changes. Ride the tides to keep defining and detailing what that means to anyone you care to share yourself with.”
I enjoy the ebbs and flows of energy because when I choose not to rest myself, my body makes sure my mind has no choice but to shut down. My natural tendency is to give of myself endlessly, often to my extreme detriment. The loss of energy (depression) is my body’s natural way of sedating me and giving me a calm body to work through the overwhelming aspects my brain could no longer process.
I need those days to help me latch on to the positive parts of my life I would otherwise forget or undervalue. Those days are hard, sometimes making me question why I would ever care to take another breath. And yet even when faced with such dark inquiries I am always able to find the light (the reason) why I soldier on through my life.
“Dark thoughts during down days brings lovely light and laughter every other day.”
My down periods allow me to reflect on what is truly important to me and what are just lies and judgments put on me by a cold and uncaring public.
I live in a world where everyone is seeking to put a label on every aspect of every person’s life and then require/expect strict adherence to those flimsy labels. Rich people act rich. Poor people act poor. Crazy people act crazy. Dumb people don’t act smart.
That’s hard for someone like me who is incapable of acting according to someone’s else understanding of who I am. I function naturally from a me first set of operations where my first question is “How can I best help?” Drastically different from the majority of the population who thinks only in the “How can I help myself to what I want?” mindset.
This difference in mind sets takes time to sort through and a creative mind to artfully connect the unrelated but relatable pieces of behavior joining the two together. Dark down periods give me no choice but to wade through the muck of society and dredge up answers for why we act so wrongly.
“I continually seek out brighter lights no matter the depth of despair, the shape of shadows, the gruesome goriness, or the malignant menaces that present their obstacles. I was meant to shine and my mind is the only light I see.”
My light is my ability to dream what I can’t see while seeing what isn’t there, feel what I can’t touch yet touching energies with my mind, smell what has texture and hear those without voices, love and care and speak for those without stories of their own.
I love the constant state of creativity as though my blood is made of imagination and is filtered through the innocence of a child. I was born to be here in this moment, to take each breath with reverence and appreciation. To find value in every second I am given and to take that value and share the wealth for the world’s benefit.
I can’t wait to start playing my part. The world is really going to go crazy for what I’m thinking.