How cosmically appropriate today, a day of rebirth, is the day that I feel like I have fully stepped into the newest version of myself.
Life is still as crazy and dysfunctional as ever but none of the chaos is able to touch the intense state of bliss I am experiencing. With Patrick quitting his job on Friday it is looking as though we will be heading back into financial crisis. The girls didn’t wake up to any Easter baskets and we did not prepare any fancy meal. My house is still a mess and not decorated for Easter. Neither of my parents called to wish the girls a Happy Easter nor invited the girls to visit. I went to the hospital today for my eye to have a piece of bark removed that had caused microscopic abrasions, leftover from a twig that had popped out of my eye yesterday. Any one of those things would have brought my day down in the past, and I can’t even fathom the mess I would have been a year ago handling all of them simultaneously.
All of that happened, yet the only thing I can tell you is that I just had the best day of my life. We shared a family brunch that was as amazing as the giggles we shared. Afterwards, we headed out for an Easter Egg hunt. For the first time, we decided to spend a holiday with family rather than relatives. The love and affection I have for my newly-found family is profound. We were accepted and welcomed with hugs and smiles and the biggest Easter basket you could have ever imagined. Conversation flowed as easily as the laughs came. When we came home, Providence took a nap and the girls played outside with the neighborhood children while I was able to spend time inside with Patrick. After dark, there were games and snuggles, and a lot more laughs and smiles, hugs and kisses.
After a day like today, I am now able to understand my inner peace: My happiness, my bliss is rooted in love. The storms of life have been raging fiercely outside my window for a long time now, but I no longer see the darkness, feel the crashing waves of fear, or fight against the winds of change. I see now, no matter what the storm brings with it, my castle is built on, shaped by, and filled with love. There is not a storm that can shake me now.